I had to made my father turn Emmerdale off tonight – I was overcome with emotion hearing Lisa Dingle recount when she was raped. Tears are in my eyes now just thinking about it, and I find it hard to breath normally. My former fiancee and I were both victims of sexual offences in our lifetimes, both had serious effects on us. We are not together now, but what happened to us, like people in similar situations, is with us day in day out.
My ex was from the time I knew her, one of the most sexually attractive people I have met. She often wore a sexy short skirt, even when we went to church! Some called her a ‘tart’, but we all have our preferences. I would rather go out with a woman I see as beautiful inside and out with no job or education, than a millionaire woman with a Phd who I can’t stand to look at or be with.
It upsets me whenever I hear people say that women who dress sexually deserve to be raped – my ex didn’t deserve it, and nor did I deserve to be seriously sexually assaulted as a child. I may not want to see my mother dress the way my ex did, but I enjoyed every shopping expedition I had with my ex, seeing her try on all the different clothes, and being in a kind of fantasy land during it. The men who stand outside the shops waiting for their girlfriends are missing a trick!
Some feminists want to ban women like my ex from being allowed to use their bodies to make a living and feel their own beauty and adoration of others. Yet most of them are willing to control their bodies and deny the birth of another life as a birthright. I feel women should have complete choice over what they do with their body on their own terms, and not be denied that freedom by other women or men, whatever form it takes.
However, I say women – not girls. I think it is more important to stop the sexualisation of childhood and ban erotic clothing for children, than to violate the privacy of Muslim women by trying to prevent them from hiding their body from others, saving it only for their partner. I’d would prefer the eminent Iranian Muslim Shirin Ebadi be my Goddaughter’s role model than Katie Price!
I would rather see an extreme where the women who appear on page 3 of the Sun, and anyone else in the sex industry such as prostitutes be made to be a member of a regulatory professional body with a code of conduct than the other extreme of living in a suppressed society where adults are stopped from expressing themselves in a consensual erotic way with other adults. Sex industry professionals of any gender or sexuality at should be allowed to offer their services with the same level of acceptance of Spa weekends, providing minors are protected from the exposure to advertising and other promotion of it.
When I go to university at UWIC, I buy a copy of Nuts along with my lunch – I’m forced to, as they won’t accept credit cards for under a fiver! I think I would prefer these magazines or the more explicit ones to only be in places where adults go, like at universities and nightclubs, than any child to see them in a newsagent. I like watching the sexy music videos on the music channels, but would rather a 24/7 version of the FHM channel I used enjoy watching sexy music videos on with mandatory parental controls or subscription only and a mandatory watershed for sexualised music videos on the other channels, if it meant children weren’t exposed to sexualised content contained in most music videos today, which adults like me want.
I think all children and only children should be allowed to have to have a ‘Solo’ debit card if they are under 15, or a ‘Switch’ if they are 15 to 17, and then a Visa/Electron/Mastercard etc if they are 18 or over.
The Video Recording Act should be used so that any content in any electronic media which is sexually explicit or any electronic product or service used primarily by children should be required to request a rating from the film classification board, as video games were required to after the James Bulger case, something I thought extreme in an essay I wrote for my GCSE English project in 1993. Internet services containing adult content (such as Second Life, and Ann Summers) should only be allowed to accessed with a credit/debit /card that only adults can use. Sites rated U to 12A should require both an adult credit card and child (Switch/Solo) debit card. Those rated 15 should require either a Switch card, or an adult card for someone 18 or over.
Searching for the term social networking and a term that child sex offenders search for on Google Trends shows, the an increase in the searches for the former happens proportionally to a decrease in searches for the latter, as you can see here.
This suggests to me that child sex offenders are lying about their age and identity on sites like Bebo and MySpace and asking minors to ‘sext’ obscene pictures to them so that they can ‘groom’ them and get instant gratification from the without detection.
Regulating Internet and sexual goods and services in the way I suggest above and strengthening the definition of an ‘obscene publication’ in the Obscene Publications Act to include any sexualised image depicting a minor that exists in the real world, and the transmission of it (‘sexting’) by an adult to be considered making an indecent image, would reduce the likelihood of sexual offences to children and adults, in my opinion.
